Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
