i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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