So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
