he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize