On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
