dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
cat food counts as protein by the way
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
