Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize