I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
