So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
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Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize