Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
