Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
