My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
