Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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