I puked a lego.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
