There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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