Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
