It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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