I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
