I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
