I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
