We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
