We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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