Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Farmville is her only friend.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs