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I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
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