So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm too high and old for this...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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