is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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