You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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