im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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