i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
