Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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