is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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