grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
