It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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