brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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