Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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