You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
