Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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