So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
