i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Randomize
