do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
