i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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