I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
