Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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