I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
