Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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