On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize