The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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