Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
