Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
