i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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