I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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