I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
