I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
