i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize