is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
