I got chris browned last night
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
