:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
